tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
