if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We need to get me chipped asap
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
