I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I deserve this hangover.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
