I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
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I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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