I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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