If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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