the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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