i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
