My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
