whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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