that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
