told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
