My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
