can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
