Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
