We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You ruined the universe
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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