real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
