For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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