i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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