I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
