I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
