try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Vodka?
Forever.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Randomize
