do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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