a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
