Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
