I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize