That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I still have a little drunk in my system
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
