nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize