Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
