No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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