Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I met the friendliest cop last night
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
