The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
