Pappa wants mamma naked
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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