Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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