Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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