Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
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