last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize