Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
