I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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