The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
