I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested