This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
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Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?