is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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