Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
ok first of all what the fuck
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
