I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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