FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
