He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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