Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
