If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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