I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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