Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
