spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
