I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
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They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
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If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize