I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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