we have officially lost it.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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