Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
