we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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