My first STD was from a foam party
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
