It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
