Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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