I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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