What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize