So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
