it's too hot outside to masturbate.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
ttyl tear gas
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
