Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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